I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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