were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
