My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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