so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
