So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize