i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
