If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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