i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
