Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
