I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
