You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
This is classic penis vs brain.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize