Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
