i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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