I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
