I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
