How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize