this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
