i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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