Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
