More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
