i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
