the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
