Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
