u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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