She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
