listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
