Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
