Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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