Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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