last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
