I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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