Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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