Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think a kid would responsible me up
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
