I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
