I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
