My sheets look like a crime scene.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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