so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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