dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
