Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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