I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
