Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
