Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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