Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You can't just leave with hair like that
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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