mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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