Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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