It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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