Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
