Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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