after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
