Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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