if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I believe in your delicious
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
