Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
