watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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