My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I look better un-naked...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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