He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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